Open letter to passengers on Southwest:

• To the guy who talked very loudly on his cell phone for an hour and a half before my flight to BWI about hundred thousands and selling things and stuff like that: You're not that important. If you were that important, you wouldn't be flying Southwest.
  
• To the woman who tried to jump the line at BWI on the full flight this morning: Yes, it's a cattle call. But look at your fricking ticket. If it says B and you're standing in C, you don't get to go to the front of B. You should have gotten it right the first time.
  
• And, on a similar note, to the people at BWI who started lining up an hour and a quarter before check-in time: Um, it's OK. The plane will still be there if you sit down until twenty minutes before. And is it worth an hour and a quarter of being uncomfortable so that your hour and three quarters long flight will be slightly more comfortable? I didn't think so.
  
• To the woman who went on with five (5) carry on bags: What part of two items don't you understand? You get to bring two things on the plane. If you have more, either jam something inside something else, or check a bag.