Choices:

About six months ago, I made a decision. I decided to start a career at 22, and not a particularly mature 22. I decided to start working somewhere where most of my coworkers would be older and married. I decided to live outside a city, though I think I am a city person.

I don't know yet whether this was a good decision. I enjoy the work mostly, though I'm still not terribly busy. I've met some interesting people, both at work and other places. I haven't met anyone I really click with, but it doesn't mean I haven't made some friends and that there aren't people I can be good friends with. And some of my best friends were people I wasn't really friends with initially.

I miss the city so much, though. I miss crowds and energy and riding the El home late at night and delicious restaurants and interesting bars. I miss random conversations late at night, drinking tea and wine (together at last) and talking about children's books or Julius Caesar or whatever. My lease is up May 1, and I'm seriously considering moving into the city then. I'll just drive in the mornings.

And I'm not sure I'm ready for a career yet either. My main work-related goal is to get enough leave to go to eastern Europe in the spring. My coworkers go home for a week at Christmas and I'm thinking that I can't possibly take any leave. I can't get serious about career development opportunities because I keep thinking that they aren't for me. I miss C-- and E-- and being the kids at the grown-ups table, plotting about how to steal some toilet paper after our sketchy landlord stole our toilet paper. Here I'm the only young one, telling stories about the bladder of Franzia in R--'s fridge in Pierce and almost getting stuck in Canada after a 20 minute trip there. The people who heard these stories just sort of laughed uncomfortably.

So, I don't know. Maybe I can meet the other young-seeming folks. Maybe I can get 8 days of leave to go to St Pete and the Baltic States. Maybe everything will look better after Christmas.