Dead Birds:

Part of my job is answering the dead bird hotline for suburban Cook County. I get some pretty damn amusing calls too. We will only collect crows and blue jays to test. I got back from lunch last Thursday to hear a message: "I have a dead bird, it's been here less than 24 hours, and it's either a crow or a blue jay, so I think it meets your criteria." Uh-huh. On further investigation, it was neither, shockingly enough. There was also the guy who was worried about Mad Goat Disease (though I think that was a prank), the lady who was "risking [her] parakeets every time she took them outside," and myriad people who claim to have been/have close relatives hospitalised for West Nile symptoms. People, it's called the flu.