Yayy, I just finished the last problem set of the week. Considering I started it about 10 this morning, I think having done all but one problem is pretty good. Of course, finding two of the solutions in another textbook helped too. . .

Right now I'm at Crerar and someone here has too much time on their hands. One of the CA's has typed on the big plasma display screen that posts announcements and such: "HELP ME! I am trapped in the plasma display with no way out. GET ME OUT OF HERE!!"

We're going to hit actual golf balls (as opposed to Wifflegolfballs) at some driving range next Tuesday. Not only is that so much cooler than hitting Wifflegolfballs at pillars in a gymnasium, but it means I don't have to go to golf on Thursday! Yayy, getting to sleep past 8:30! On the negative side, I have to get up ass-early next Tuesday (where by ass-early I mean about 2 hours after Susan gets up every day).

Yayy, topology midterm is DONE!! And it was OK, I think. I could at least bullshit my way through all but one half of one problem.

Ian claims that I can take one class P/F and two classes for letter grades and still be considered a full time student. This option is sounding better and better. . .

There's been some posting over at Baude's Blog recently about abortion, and I thought I'd include my own two cents.

I have moral problems with abortion. Will compares the fetus to a parasite, which, though it's a biologically accurate comparison, I think, ignores the fact that a fetus may become a human. Maybe I'm a idealist, but I see a difference between a tapeworm and a fetus. And I've read comparisons between a fetus and a five-year-old child. I concur that there is a huge difference (and I'm thinking about self-awareness here) between a 6 week fetus and a five-year-old child. But what about between a seven or eight month fetus (that can survive outside its mother's womb) and an infant? Why do we as a society send a women to jail for killing her newly born baby, when, if she had gone to the doctor the day before, she could have killed it legally?

The current line we draw between infanticide and abortion seems just as arbitrary as any other line, particularly when partial birth abortion involves inducing labor and essentially killing the baby when it comes out.

The current question religiously involves when the fetus has a soul. Of course the Catholic Church's position is when the fetus is a seperate sperm and egg, which I find ridiculous and only fit for an age when underpopulation rather than overpopulation is a problem. However, this position has not been uniformly held by the Church. In fact, Augustine said that a baby only had a soul when it was able to move around in the woman's stomach (well, he used different words, and for that matter, he wrote in Latin, but that was the gist. This would legitimate birth control and early-term abortions, but it seems a completely arbitrary line to draw.

I tried to apply the principle of the double effect to abortion. That is, one does a morally neutral act with good and bad consequences. If the good consequences outweigh the bad ones (what does this mean? Probably that it's up to an individual to use his or her judgement to decide), than the act is not a sin. The problem is that I don't see abortion as a morally neutral act, though I think the good consequences probably outweigh the bad ones. If one applies this principle to birth control though (which i do see as a morally neutral act. Yes, I know I'm probably going to hell), then I think that this morally legitimates using birth control, no matter what Paul VI said. I'd say he can bite me, but then I'd definitely be going to hell. Plus he's dead.

My view on the law is that the government should be able to ban late-term abortions. If the fetus could survive outside the womb, than I see abortion as murder. Call it the third trimester to be safe. Before this point, I think the right to privacy applies and it is the pregnant woman's right to decide.

Do I see abortion as morally wrong? Probably. I don't think I could have an abortion, but I've never been in a situation where it seems the only way out. So I can't really say I would never have one. And I see early-term abortions as a moral matter, not a legal matter, so I don't think the government should legislate about them. Do I think abortion is good for society? Probably, but I don't think that justifies it. One could argue that shooting all the Fox executives before Married by America was produced would have been good for society, but that doesn't mean it should be legal, nor does it make the action morally right.

Ultimately, I see abortion as a moral matter, not a legal one. I think each woman should decide whether she can square having an abortion with her own ethical code. If she can, I don't think the law should stop her. I don't approve of the government trying to force my morals on anyone else.

A few disclaimers: I know my line is as arbitrary as anyone else's. I just happen to like it, that's all. I know very little about the relevant law, so this is more or less from a common sense, with some recourse to Catholic theology, position. And please don't email me or post comments about what a terrible person I am. If you wish to make well-reasoned and logical comments about why you disagree with my position, I'd love to read them. My position on this issue is hardly set in stone, but I'm not going to change my mind because of some poorly-spelled, hate-filled missive about how morally degenerate I am.

I know I post funny searches too often, but I am the number one hit for beneficial things Caracalla did. I also got hits from searches for Byzantine Empire scavhunt and edamame ireland. It really makes me wonder why people are searching for some of these things. . .

alphie


What Toy From The 80s Are You
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I found a place to live in London! The location is OK, not wonderful, near Arsenal, and I can book with only a 10 pound deposit in case my security clearance doesn't go through. It's a single room in a flatshare (3 or 4 rooms), with a fridge and TV in room for 140 pounds a week! Maggie should find out what program she got into (and when she has to be at Cambridge) in a week or two so we can figure out when we're going to Ireland after that.

And Nadia's having a party on Saturday. And stupid Northwestern is coming to our tournament after all. And if it weren't for this stupid topology midterm, my life would ROCK!

What is wrong with my life:
Hadron1982: . . . if this midterm goes badly
Silver0091: When is it?
Hadron1982: tuesday. and i'm really scared about it. but not scared enough to study, apparently
Silver0091: Ah, that kind of scared.
Hadron1982: yeah, the "oh god, i'm going to fail. oh god i'm going to fail. oh, is this a new fraternity life recap?" kind of scared

Also, presently on my desk are 32 caps from 20 ounce or liter bottles of Diet Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Diet Cherry Coke. I think I have a problem.

Thank you, Gerry Adams. Please let this work this time.

Here it is, an absolutely beautiful spring day, and what am I doing? I'm at the Reg, realising I don't know how to calculate the fundamental group of a connected sum. When did math stop being fun? Possibly when it started being hard? I don't know.

This guy I know has the coolest thing in the world. It's a rubber ball filled with some unknown substance that kind of looks like shampoo. It's attached to a rubber thing with a loop to go around your finger so you can throw it down kind of like a yo-yo. If you spin it, it flattens out and kind of looks like a UFO. Apparently this thing is all the rage among elementary school students in New York and LA, though some schools have banned it because no one knows what the substance inside is or whether it's toxic. Does anyone know the name of this or where I can find one? I'm desperate. I need one NOW. Leave a comment, please, if you know anything about these things.

Uggh, I'm bored. If anyone has any exciting plans for tonight and would like to bring a social charity case along with them, please

I wasn't getting any work done last night (the story of my life), so I went to see A Mighty Wind up at the Esquire. It was good. Not great, but enjoyable and funny and, most importantly for my attention span, short. I hate all these two and a half hour long movies.

My one complaint with the movie is that it ignored the political side of folk music. My (pretty minimal) knowledge of folk is that it is tied to the antiwar movement and left-wing politics. You know, "Where have all the flowers gone?" and "Blowin' in the Wind" and Jenny in Forest Gump. But Christopher Guest ignores this, so we only hear treacly love duets and the rousing Appalachian choruses. It seems hard to divorce the political side of the folk movement from the rest of the movement.

Also, though Guest does a good job making fun of the not particularly artistically good singers, he ignores the fact that folk produced some very good musicians as well. It's easy to make fun of the Kingston Trio, harder to make fun of a movement that produced Joan Baez, Bob Dylan, Woody Guthrie, and Pete Seeger along with the Kingston Trio.

Some people at MIT are doing a survey about American Idol. Isn't that a bit weird? Anyway, I took it even though I've seen the show a total of twice. Am I a bad person? Do rhetorical questions make me happy?

From the NY Times:

Re "Report Says British Officers Helped Kill Ulster Catholics" (news article, April 18):

Sir John Stevens's report that the British Army and the Royal Ulster Constabulary colluded with Protestant paramilitaries to kill Catholics in Northern Ireland in the late 1980's confirms what many observers have suspected for some time.

Can there be any wonder that the Irish Republican Army is reluctant to give up all its arms?

Well, yes. What the British did in the north of Ireland in the twentieth century was pretty terrible, even indefensible if you believe some of the claims (i.e. that the British troops planned Bloody Sunday in order to piss Catholics off and damage the process for peaceful civil rights in Ireland). But I'm not sure what the relevance is to today. The British seem to be making a good faith effort for a peaceful solution to the Troubles, but some of the other groups (and not just the pIRA here, they're just the most visible) need to be willing to meet them halfway for the Good Friday Agreement to have any chance of working. The British attitude to Protestant paramilitaries has changed since the 1980s and what happened then should not be an obstacle to peace now.

The I.R.A. has sustained its cease-fire since 1996, but clearly, it feels that it and the Catholic community would be vulnerable to more attacks if the I.R.A. disarmed unilaterally.

And it probably would be. But I think this agreement is the best chance for peace and that should outweigh a lot of other things. I feel pretty scwicky about a parliament at Stormont too, not because of what the British did, but because of what the original parliament of Stormont did to Catholics. The British army entered the north of Ireland to protect Catholics from Protestants, not vice versa. But this parliament was representative and would probably be able to protect the Catholic community from attacks as effectively as the pIRA, if it's just given a chance to work.

The Good Friday Agreement calls for the general demilitarization of Northern Ireland, so the onus of disarmament should not fall on the I.R.A. alone.

I don't dispute that. But the pIRA is the most visible (and most powerful) paramilitary group in the north of Ireland. If they aren't willing to disarm, none of the other groups will either. Some sort of timetable, something, indicating their efforts towards disarmament would be a good start.

All paramilitary groups in the province should disarm simultaneously,

In an ideal world this would happen. But in this world, the pIRA should take some leadership to support the peace process, particularly since they undermined it so visibly in October.

the British Army should withdraw,

Not yet. At least not to my mind. I believe the British really want this agreement to work, and as such are committed to maintaining order in the north. They might very well be able to keep the balance of power until the parliament at Stormont (if it is able to function again) is strong enough to keep order itself.

This argument is pretty much moot until Home Rule is restored anyway, which won't happen until the pIRA agrees to make some signifcant steps towards disarmament. As long as the north of Ireland is ruled from London, the British army will be there.

and the Northern Ireland police must be reformed so that the Catholic minority can trust them.

I won't argue here. The RUC is pretty terrible, which is part of the reason the British army should stay in the north of Ireland for the time being.

T. W. HEYCK
Evanston, Ill., April 18, 2003
The writer is a professor of history at Northwestern University.

Just finished watching the great Minnesota v. Lakers game. Minnesota won in overtime, even though almost all the referees' calls went against them. It was weird, I don't care about basketball at all, but watching this game I had to root for Minnesota. I can't watch a game and honestly not care who wins; I'll pick a side. Usually the side others in the room have chosen, since it's more fun to watch a game with fellow fans (and I use the term loosely here).

So, the promised musings on the Easter Rising. I see it as one big PR screw-up by the British. The British planned on giving the Irish Home Rule (whether that would have turned out as in the North of Ireland is anyone's guess) before WWI broke out. In 1914, the Military Council of the IRB met and decided not to plan a rising unless either England planned on using conscription in Ireland or if, a year after the war, Ireland still did not have home rule. Around Christmastime of 1915, rumors started leaking out that the British government was planning on instituting the draft in Ireland, which caused a lot of resentment. As Peader Kearney wrote,

"'Twas better to die 'neath an Irish sky
Than at Suvla or Sud el Bar.
(...)
'Twas England bade our wild geese go
That small nations might be free.
But their lonely graves lie by Suvla's waves
On the shores of the grey North Sea."

The IRB began planning the Easter Rising about this time. Guns were to be sent from Germany, and they were to arrive on Good Friday or Holy Saturday. However, they were captured at Tralee, along with Sir Roger Casement who was hanged as a traitor by the British. The Rising had been planned for Easter Sunday but in all the chaos moved to Monday. The Rising was more or less confined to Dublin, though there was a small rebellion in Cork. The Rising went off on Easter Monday, with rebels occupying much of the center of Dublin. One week later, they had been dislodged, with about 1500 total casualties, maybe 500 civilian (caused mainly by British shelling of the city center). During the Rising, the people of Dublin were generally apathetic and even booed Pearse when he read the Poblacht na hEireann from the steps of the GPO on Easter Monday.

The aftermath is what's particularly interesting. About 3000 were arrested, though the Irish Volunteers numbered about 1000 then and the Citizen Army about 250. I have no idea where the other 1750 arrestees came from. 90 of the leaders (and people the British didn't like --see Willie Pearse and John MacBride) were condemned to death and 15 actually shot after closed courts-martial. One, James Connolly, had been shot in the leg and couldn't stand to face the firing squad. So he was tied upright to a chair.

This was a stupid move by the British. I think they probably had to execute Padraic Pearse and Tom Clarke, but not so much for the rest. With almost 2000 prisoners sent to Ireland, a lot of families lost a son (or daughter) who was only peripherally involved in the cause. When the rebels came back, they were able to get a lot more support from the countryside, and only three years later, the War for Irish Independence begins.

The British would probably have lost Ireland eventually as the world changed, but had they not contemplated conscription in Ireland in 1916 and had they realised the public mood in Ireland against the rebels, they could have held on to the island for a little longer. And by turning the "rebels of '16" into martyrs, they did the IRB a great service. When Sinn Fein and the IRB went out to recruit in 1917 and 1918, they were able to enlist far more men than ever before. They also were able to get guns and money from American Irish, who had not necessarily supported the republican movement before 1916.

I love the Irish Independent!

Men need a makeover

Sir - At a time of difficulty for the tourism industry, it's important that we all play our part in supporting a valuable national interest. For those of us not involved in the industry, support should at least include extending a genuine 'cead mile failte' to tourists.

Most accept that, given a dash of sunshine, the landscape is our best asset - so we should take care to show our individual properties in a favourable light and not hesitate to splash on paint where appropriate. There is no longer any excuse for tolerating old derelict sites.

And there is a lot we can do about our own presentation, especially men. In the modern world where appearance is all, we must unburden ourselves of old attitudes of what real manliness means. During the tourist season, at least, we should follow our Taoiseach's heroic initiative of looking good for Ireland and not be afraid to slap on a bit of powder and lipstick. After all, what male citizen knows when a tourist might wish to take his photograph as an example of modern Irish manhood?

Of course, the make-up - powder and lipstick should be sufficient for all but the very wizened face - should be supplied by the Government, which could also arrange short Fas courses to train suitable males as make-over artists.

It is my personal conviction that, during the normal tourist season, bald men should not be allowed appear in public unless wearing a traditional Irish tweed cap or an appropriate wig. Enforcement of this rule, as well as the obligation for Irish men to wear make-up, would, naturally, fall to the Equality Agency.

True equality and the tourism industry demands that we men accept the duty of looking good for Ireland. It would be most unfair to leave it to the women and an Taoiseach!

Liam O Geibheannaigh,
Ath an Ghainimh, Co Atha Cliath

What major US newspaper would print this?

Just finished a survey from the NSF (for which they're sending me an Amazon.com gift certificate. Sweet!) about my research from last summer.

When you start dreaming about taking a nap, it's time to get some more sleep. . .

Funny things from yesterday:

[My number theory professor on a proof of the prime number theorem] "Well, the theorem's true, and the proof is in a book, so I'm sure the proof is true, but..."

[My Byzantine empire professor on Crete] "So Muslim raiders from Spain, from the civil wars in Spain, established a super piracy base there."

It's the anniversary of the Easter Rising. I'll post some musings after class.

Over the past few days, I've been trying to get caught up in my reading for my Byzantine history class, which has involved a lot of reading about eighth and ninth century Byzantium. I've learned a new appreciation for the separation of church and state. Wow. The emperor's views on iconoclasm affected the loyalty and disloyalty of the soldiers, and the appointment of patriarchs by the emperor gave them (emperor and soldiers) even more power over religion. This leads to instability and civil war as the troops agitated in favor of iconoclasm while the monks opposed it. And that's not even getting into the effects on the Church.

From The Onion. . .

"Word got around the station that this guy wrote a whole book claiming that Mother Teresa was a stooge of right-wing dictators," Poole recalled. "Supposedly, he said her hypocritical approach to charity for the poor of Calcutta, as well as her steadfast advocacy of the Catholic Church's doctrine prohibiting birth control, made her an essentially immoral individual undeserving of the mantle of sainthood. Well, a lot of the boys here are Irish-Catholic born and raised, and they don't take too kindly to people speaking ill of nuns."[ed-- this is a good Irish-American joke, though I imagine it would be hard to actually tell properly...]

Also, I'd watch this. . .

To continue with Susan's theme, here is

• Guys are Creepy, part III I went to the Co-op this afternoon to get edamame. As I was walking into the store, this kind of short guy with a lot of hair was staring at me. I glanced at him, ascertained that I didn't know him, and looked away quickly. I was hoping he'd just gotten me confused with someone he knew or something. Then he burst out laughing. I looked at him again, and he was still staring at me. (?!) When was that ever considered acceptable social behavior? I think he was laughing at my shirt (I was wearing the Pierce ScavHunt shirt from last year which says Notorious Amphioxus Posse in lime green letters on the front), but still.
  

So, there's been some dispute about the council of American bishops statement about Catholic senators who support abortion.

First, no matter what the title of the report says, the bishops are not claiming that these senators are not Catholic. A Catholic is simply someone who has been baptised (and if the appropriate age) confirmed into the Catholic faith. Even if one cannot receive the sacraments because he is excommunicated or guilty of a mortal sin, he is still Catholic.

Will has suggested a parallel between Democratic Catholics who support abortion and Republican Catholics who support the war. This parallel doesn't really work. The opposition of the Catholic church to abortion is based on fifty years of teaching and a papal encyclical issued (albeit against the wishes of the council) by Paul VI. The opposition of the Church to the war is based on a speech of John Paul II. Though encyclicals aren't technically infallible, they do bind every Catholic to obey them (the Scriptural authority is Luke 10:16 if you care about such things). The only way that encyclicals differ from bulls is that they could be rescinded by a future pope. JPII's statement on the war, on the other hand, does not seem to carry the same authority. I don't believe JPII was speaking as a teacher when he gave that speech, therefore Catholics are probably not bound to obey it. If the pope is not speaking as a teacher on matters of faith or morals, he has no legal authority over Catholics, only moral authority. A better parallel would probably be the death penalty, also condemned by an encyclical and supported by Republicans. Still, the tradition there is less strong.

A little note on infallibility, one of the least understood doctrines of the Catholic Church. This doctrine is relatively new, dating to Vatican I in 1870. Prior to that date, some popes claimed not to be infallible, though we now consider the decisions of the ecumenical councils and some papal bulls (when the pope spoke ex cathedra, ie Boniface's Unam Sanctum) as infallible. The only document ever claimed to be infallible under VCI's definition of infallibility was that of Mary's bodily assumption into heaven in 1950. When a pope writes an encyclical (as in Humanae Vitae, which condemned abortion) he is acting in his role as a teacher, but he is not speaking for the Church. There are gray areas in this doctrine, of course. Ecumenical councils are infallible, but Vatican II was not (probably) because it was a pastoral council and did not really deal with issues of faith. So theoretically the Church could go back to having Masses said in Latin with the priest facing the altar rather than the congregation etc. Generally, a Catholic is supposed to use his or her judgment about whether a specific statement is infallible.

As an anti-war, pro-abortion (what an ugly phrase. I'm not pro-abortion--like woo, go abortion. I believe in the right of a woman to choose) Catholic, I don't really like any of this, but this is the doctrine as I understand it.

My new best friend, the maintenance guy for Blackstone fixed our drain. He also cleaned the (really gross) tub. I feel really guilty for not getting to it earlier this morning, but I didn't expect him to clean it (or really to come today). I want to make him cookies, though I wouldn't eat cookies made by someone whose bath tub looked like that.

Eww. Eww. I must stop reading marketplace. Maybe this is a sign from God that I should start doing some homework or something. If so, that was really unnecessary. I was about to work anyway.

My flight back to Chicago was apparently really bumpy, but I displayed my trademark plane-related narcolepsy and slept right through. When the pilot announced that we were beginning our descent into Chicago, I was surprised since I hadn't heard the flight attendants serving beverages. I usually hear the overly load, chirrupy tones of "and what would you like to drink today?" even if I don't bother to open my eyes to try to snag myself four ounces of Diet Coke and three cubes of ice. As it turned out, I hadn't actually slept through it though. We hit turbulence all the way to Louisville, so the flight attendants didn't have enough time to finish serving the drinks.

I don't usually fly into Chicago at night. I really noticed the grid system at night. The lights follow these impossibly straight paths, and every half a mile there is a line of brighter lights for a main street. It's perfectly ordered and completely different from Atlanta which has a couple of big blobs of darkness and in between them narrow strings snaking along the tops of ridges or old Cherokee hunting paths to hold the edge cities loosely together.

When I got home I discovered the shower wasn't draining at all. Amanda had tried Liquid Plumber to no avail, so I went to Walgreens and bought a bottle of Draino Max and poured that whole sucker down. It sort of worked (the drain just drains slowly now), but the tub is absolutely disgusting from the caked Draino and Liquid Plumber. I showered at a friends today. So I have a date with a bottle of Comet this afternoon.

Yayy!! Terra got into the Oxford program for the fall. I think I'm going to know about as many people in England as in Chicago next fall.

Well, I'm back in Chicago, really tired, and thinking about how I should do my topology homework.

Well ACF is over. We finished 4-8, I think, which was four wins more than Delaware (who admittedly didn't show up, but whatever). The tournament started at 9:00 am and when I left about 9 pm, there were still two rounds to go plus finals. That's no fun. Other than some creepiness when the tournament director followed us around (sometimes it's sketch being a mostly chick team) and the fact that there was a party across the street from our hotel the night before, so I got a total of three hours of sleep, it was pretty fun. At least until about 7. Then it was long.

But anyway, I'm home now. We're having Easter dinner, then going to Mass, and then I'm flying out about 8 pm. Back to Chicago, to get caught up on homework and sleep.

I'm off to Atlanta for the weekend. I'll be at my parents' Saturday night and Sunday, so I may be able to post. We shall see.

Also, this is a bit of a start, I suppose.

I seriously thought I was going to get frostbite in class today. The room was so cold.

Great class story: In number theory yesterday, the professor emphasised the importance of counting in arithmetic. Then, from the end of class, we have this dialogue:
Girl in class: So can you tell us when the midterms are going to be?
Professor: Oh, after about three weeks.
G: At the end of this week, then?
P: No. . .
G: Oh, so three weeks from the end?
P: No, no, come on, count with me. One, two,. . . Oh.

*Note* For those of you not at the U of C, this is the third week of our quarter.

I found this web site that claims to have "alternative Irish jokes" that "reflect the humor and nature of the Irish people." Reading through the site, that is a lot of shit. OK, so there aren't any jokes involving the phrase "to screw in a lightbulb:" that doesn't make these jokes at all authentic. A case in point:

Young O'Donnell rushed into a church, placed his rifle under a pew and entered the confessional. "Father," he said breathlessly, "I've just shot down two British lieutenants!" Hearing no response he went on: "I also knocked off a British captain!" When there was still no response from the priest, O'Donnell said, "Father, have ye fainted?" "Of course I haven't fainted," replied the confessor. "I'm waitin' for you to stop talkin' politics and commence confessin' your sins!"

Now whether you think this joke is funny (and I personally kind of do), it displays a fundamental misunderstanding of the role of the church in the Irish revolutionary movement. The Church has very little sympathy for the IRA. At least during the 'thirties and 'fourties, members of the IRA (not even people who had done any criminal acts as part of this organisation) were automatically excommunicated. In Borstal Boy, Behan gives a two page long speech about the wrongs the Church has done to Ireland. I don't have the book with me, but I think he says something like "The Church has always been for England and against Ireland." Though an individual priest may have a different view on this, the official policy makes it very clear what the priest has to do. The IRA as a fake-Marxist (faux-Marxist?) doesn't have a lot of use for the Church.

Several other jokes show the author's misunderstanding of the role of the Church in Irish society. There are jokes about priests having sex (even with children). This isn't something Irish people joke about. Priests can drink, and swear, and hate the English, but the breach of the vow of celibacy is something that happens, but the Irish don't like to talk about it and definitely don't find it funny.

The political jokes are a lot better, though I'd heard almost all of them before. There's one joke about the mistress of a big 'English' house and her Irish maid. I'm assuming English here refers to Anglo-Irish, the Normans who came over to Ireland in the 12th century and haven't been 'English' for 700 years. The Kennedys are part Anglo-Irish. The only jokes on this page that are particularly authentic though are #2 and #14. The rest are American jokes.

That was sort of my problem with this whole page. These aren't 'authentic Irish jokes.' These are American-Irish at best. I mean, Saddam Hussein jokes? Just because a charcter in a joke is Irish doesn't make the joke Irish. Period.

I found it!
No man believes

No man believes who, when a star falls shot,
Cries not aloud blind as a bat,
Cries not in terror when a bird is drawn
Into the quicksand feathers down,
Who does not make a wound in faith
When any light goes out, and life is death.

No man believes, who cries not, God is not,
Who feels not coldness in the heat,
In the brested summer longs not for spring,
No breasted girl, no man who,
young and green, sneers not at the old sky.
No man believes who does not wonder why.

Believe and be saved. No man believes
Who curses not what makes and saves,
No man upon this cyst of earth
Belives who does not lance his faith,
No man, no man, no man.

And this is true, no man can live
Who does not bury God in a deep grave
And then raise up the skeleton again,
No man who does not break and make,
Who in the bones finds not new faith,
Lends not flesh to ribs and neck,
Who does not break and make his final faith.
-Dylan Thomas

It's not wonderful poetry by any stretch of the imagination but I really like some of the ideas in it. Can we believe in something without thinking about it, bringing up all the arguments against it, and sometimes even not believing? Can we take faith on blind faith? I don't really think so. I think faith is too important and too personal to accept on the word of someone else. And there are definitely plenty of arguments against the existence of God. Without thinking of those arguments, do we know that God exists? This is why I've always had a great deal of respect for Thomas Aquinas. Sure, some of his arguments suck. The proofs for the existence of God? I'm not buying. But he's trying to logically answer arguments against Christian theology, rather than claiming that it's blasphemous to make these arguments. I see the Summa Theologica as a real step forward in scholarship and even religious belief.

Anyway, since the poem appears not to be available at all online, I thought I'd post it.

According to Google, I'm the #10 search result for mormon porn. A bit scary, no?

This poem's been running around in my head for a while now, and I can't find the text online. It's called "No Man Believes" and it's by Dylan Thomas. I think the opening goes like "No man believes who when a star falls shot. Cries not aloud blind as a bat." Other lines include "No man believes who cries not, God is not" and something like "Who does not bury his faith in a [something] box and dig it up to crucify it again." Does anyone know this poem? It's been driving me crazy, so I think I'll look for it at the Reg.

So this is cool. My mother was eating dinner at a restaurant in Atlanta on Monday when good old Sonny walked in (that's governor of GA Sonny Perdue). He apparently knew the people sitting behind my mother and stopped to talk to them about how badly the legislative session was going.

So, Will posted that several rural Mississippi counties are suing the state, claiming that they can't afford to provide public defenders for criminals in their jurisdiction.

This is a problem in Georgia, too. In fact, the AJC had an article about three weeks ago (it's unavailable on their website unless you want to subscribe, and it's really not worth it) about the fact that several rural Georgia counties were flat out denying poor defendants accused of misdemeanors (even in cases involving jail time) public defenders, in direct violation of Gideon. This is a particular problem in a state like Georgia, which is very polarised between rural and urban and has a lot of very small counties. Add in some racism and the fact that many of these counties can barely afford to educate their students and you have a real problem.

Some possible solutions, attempted with varying degrees of success in Georgia:

• Use local attorneys working pro bono. This has the advantage of being relatively cheap. The state usually pays some court costs, but it saves them a bit of money. Also, since there are often very few criminal cases in these counties, it isn't impossible to find attorneys willing to work. The main disadvantage that I can see is the varying quality of attorneys. There were some horror stories in the AJC article. Also, if no attorney willing to work can be found, the cases can sit on the docket for a long time.
  
• Use local attorneys working for a set fee. The general situation of public defenders in rural Georgia. Like Atticus Finch in To Kill a Mockingbird. Gives generally higher quality of attorneys, though the lawyers willing to work for this fee are often suspect. More expensive than the pro bono guys, but not terribly so. Same problem with cases waiting (sometimes for months) for a willing lawyer to become available.
  
• At least one county in Georgia has gone to hring a part time p.d. This is expensive, but the state has control over the quality of the lawyer. The problem in the rural counties is that there just isn't enough work to justify it.
  

I believe that providing an attorney to someone accused of a crime is generally a good thing, particularly if the person faces jail time. So one of these options will have to suffice. I don't know which is best, really. What do you guys think?

OK, one more thing before I go do homework. Apparently Saddam Hussein's son Uday had an email address: udaysaddamhussein@yahoo.com. Does that seem weird to anyone else? Isn't there like an iraq.gov server or something?

I dropped electronics. Well, I haven't actually dropped it yet, but I didn't go to lab or turn in my labs from last week, so it's essentially dropped. I'm taking Byzantine Empire 610-1025, the continuation of the class I took in the fall. Yes, that one. The three hour lecture from 7:30 - 10:20 pm. This is another evening three hour lecture. We'll see how it goes, but it really has to be better than the labs.

I'm not usually one to comment on the sartorial mistakes of my professors, but one of my professors has worn the exact same pair of pants every day we've had class this quarter. I'm pretending he only wears them on the days we have class, but it's getting harder and harder.

Well, topology is done. Done in the sense of 6 of the 8 problems are finished, and 4 of those are probably right and the other two mostly right, I hope. I have no clue on the other two, and I just don't care that much anymore.

Now I have to decide if I'm going to do electronics. Since I don't know if I can get into any other class (it is kind of late), I'd better at least do a half-assed job on the problems. I think I'm going to avoid the labs though. They're not due until 1:30, so I can always skip my 12:00 class and finish them then.

It sounds like a plan.

So, road trips in general trip me out. This one is particularly cool. This guy drove around in a school bus (maybe it was a party bus?) and went to as many Denny's as he could. He went to the one we went to in high school too. Georgia-- Dunwoody-- 1888 Cotillion Dr. if you want to check it out.

Do you remember how much I hated and sucked at labs first year? Well, I still hate them. So why did I decide to take a class with 8 hours in the lab every week? Or (better question) what was I smoking when I made that decision? So yeah. I think I'm dropping electronics. It's really cool, but not for me.

Oh, it's warm today. I'm wearing flipflops. It's hard to believe that Saturday night, I was in my winter jacket and wool hat.

Between now and Wednesday, I have two labs and three problem sets due. Don't expect much in the way of communication from me.

It's Palm Sunday today. No appropriate TSE poem, so here's the psalm from the liturgy for year B (which I think we're in now).

Open for me the gates of righteousness; *
I will enter them;
I will offer thanks to the LORD.
"This is the gate of the LORD; *
he who is righteous may enter."
I will give thanks to you, for you answered me *
and have become my salvation.
The same stone which the builders rejected *
has become the chief cornerstone.
This is the LORD'S doing, *
and it is marvelous in our eyes.
On this day the LORD has acted; *
we will rejoice and be glad in it.
Hosannah, LORD, hosannah! *
LORD, send us now success.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord; *
we bless you from the house of the LORD.
God is the LORD; he has shined upon us; *
form a procession with branches up to the horns of the altar.
"You are my God, and I will thank you; *
you are my God, and I will exalt you."
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; *
his mercy endures for ever.

It was a good weekend. Friday, I went to Isaac and Evan's party. A bunch of ScavHunt judges were there, so the thing degenerated to way too much talking about ScavHunt, but whatever. Saturday, I saw Lord of the Rings with Will and Maggie. No costumes, sadly, but I overheard several arguments about whether Legolas or Aragorn was hotter (for the record, I say Aragorn. Legolas looks like a chick). Today, I really need to work, but I've been being lazy.

I did do a couple of summer job applications yesterday. One is for a camp that seems to really want me. It seems really cool too. I'd be riding staff, teaching English equitation, living in staff housing, and making about $220 a week. The only problem is that they start 2 June. Even if I get all my finals moved to reading period, I couldn't be there until 9 June. So I'm applying, but I'm not holding my breath.

FUCT is looking promising, too. We've had at least ten teams express interest and there are a couple more I'm waiting to hear from. There might be a mirror at Stanford, and if so, we'll have enough packets. If not? It gets a bit sketchy.

Wow, so I was at a party from 8:30 pm till 2:30 am. That's a long time to be somewhere...

Someone just called from the Science Advisor's office at the State Department, my first choice for my internship. She sounded sad when she heard I'd already taken the job in London. But she was glad that they were using science people in other offices. Damnit, couldn't she have called first? They probably would have made me stay in Washington, but I think the work would have been better suited for me, even though what I am doing sounds interesting.

Ah, it is fun to be wanted. So much rejection for this summer. Clearly, I should just work in the fall.

Arrggh, cheap champagne and $10 per 4 gallon Sangria. I'm going to regret this tomorrow. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. And I think I'm going to two parties tomorrow night. How cool am I?

So, ah, does anyone know how to build a low-pass filter? I'm confused about where the outputs go.

Truly golf is a dangerous game. I got a giant blister on my right thumb today, so I decided to skip Electronics. Well, that and the fact that I haven't read the lab for this afternoon yet. So instead I'm updating my blog. At this rate, I'm going to have to skip topology also. Hmm...

I got two more or less job offers for camps today. One pays like shit and would require me to get a Canadian visa. The other starts before we're out of school. Sigh. I'm still hoping one of the "wrangler" jobs pans out. How cool would that be? Most of the places are already full though. I'm on the wait list at this place in California, though, since I answered her telephone quiz questions correctly (How do you get a horse to pick up the right lead? Where are the poll, the dock, and the pastern?).

I finished reading The Unconsoled last week. I sort of have mixed feelings about the book. It was enjoyable to read, but it almost seemed weird for its own sake. None of the weirdness was resolved in any way at the end. It was kind of like a dream where everyone you meet seems vaguely familiar. Suddenly you realise you went to school with them or you used to date them or something. That kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life. I'm not sure this string of coincidences would have be resolvable in any satsifying way (I didn't want Mr. Ryder to wake up from his dream or something), but that didn't make the ending any less unsatisfying.

Working on The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay right now. So far it's really good, if not particularly 'deep,' whatever that means.

So a little bit more about Liberty's Kids. From the pbs.org web site, a list of the 'talent' in the show. I seriously couldn't make this shit up.

Annette Bening Abigail Adams
Warren Buffet James Madison
Aaron Carter Joseph Plumb Martin
Walter Cronkite Benjamin Franklin
Billy Crystal John Adams
Michael Douglas Patrick Henry
Don Francisco Governor Galvez
Whoopi Goldberg Deborah Samson
Dustin Hoffman Benedict Arnold
Yolanda King Elizabeth Freeman
Liam Neeson John Paul Jones
Arnold Schwarzenegger Baron von Steuben
General H. Norman Schwarzkopf Colonel Clark
Maria Shriver Peggy Shippen
Sylvester Stallone Paul Revere
Ben Stiller Thomas Jefferson
Michael York Admiral Lord Howe

Liam Neeson, Sylvester Stallone, and Whoopi Goldberg-- together at last. Also, Ben Stiller as Thomas Jefferson?? That strikes me as a questionable casting decision.
Reo Jones Sarah Phillips
Chris Lundquist James Hiller
Kathleen Barr Henri
D. Kevin Williams Moses

Golf at 9:30, Electronics at 10:30, topology at 12, lab from 1:30 to 5:30, practice at 7. . . I hate Tuesdays

LA was pretty fun.

I got up at some ridiculous hour (5:15 am) and got a plane out of Midway at 8:30. Absolutely nothing of note happened. No Baptist preachers, groping TSA employees, or flights delayed by three hours. We got into LA about 11:30 and were supposed to be meeting Peter at the airport since he was coming in on a different plane (from San Francisco via Chicago, but that's another story). We waited by the baggage claim until 12:30, but there was no Peter. Odds of dead in a ditch-- 1%. So we got cabs to the hotel.

The hotel was nice (in Brentwood/Bel Air and right by the 405), but we were so hungry that we didn't really care. There weren't really any restaurants within walking distance, so we ordered pizza (from Papa John's-- how I miss Papa John's). Then we sat around and watched the best cartoons ever on PBS. One was some sort of historical thing about the Constitution that featured Warren Buffett as James Madison (and apparently Norman Schwartzkopf in some role, but we didn't see him). We saw this in the credits and got really excited about it. We then spent most of the show pointing to every character and saying "Maybe that's James Madison!" "No, he's not short enough. Madison was the one who was short, right?" Anyway, Warren Buffett only had about two lines, so it was a lot of buildup for not a lot of payoff. Still no Peter. Odds of dead in a ditch up to 5%.

Once at UCLA, we were ridiculously early, so we went to the bookstore/ student union. I was impressed. They had a giant $200 stuffed duck. And Haribo! Still no Peter. Oodiad up to 10%.

Back at the building, Ed is assigned the job of watching boxes. Since he's a paid employee of NAQT and all. And there is Peter!! Oodiad back to 0%, a healthy place for said odds.

Selene, Amanda, Murtaza, and I were on a standby team, so we only got to play if someone else didn't show up. As the team meeting ended, the team from Delaware hadn't shown up, so we were pretty excited. We walked over to the building that the games were being held in and went to the room Delaware was supposed to play in. And they were there! Those bastards. Selene and I now have a bit of a vendetta against the entire state.

So yeah. Murtaza and I weren't assigned to do anything, so we sat on the staircase and literally just talked for three hours while Selene and Amanda staffed. The building was basically laid out like a 1970's beach motel. That is, a large square surrounded a courtyard with lots of plants and palm trees. The rooms opened off of the exterior hallways that surrounded the courtyard. There was a funny metal slat ceiling that allowed light and rain through. The feel was very open, and I would not ever pay attention in a class I had there. So it got cold in the stairwell, which was basically open to the desert night. Also, by the end of the night, I was starving.

We made it back to the hotel after some taxi related mishaps (attempting to hail a cab in LA at a busy corner = bad). So it was late and we were hungry. We found a deli that was supposed to deliver all night, so the thirteen of us put together an order and ordered. They didn't deliver this late. So dinner came from the hotel vending machines.

Morning. I didn't get up for breakfast in the hotel, so my breakfast came from one of the vending machine oases that were scattered around UCLA. Seriously, you could just walk around the campus and suddenly you'd see a little collection of vending machines all clustered together. Murtaza was assigned to a room to scorekeep and I was supposed to moderate for this guy named Andrew. I assumed because he wasn't showing up, but then he was there, so I huess he was late. Anyway, I told him what I'd been told and he went to scorekeep for someone else. I felt bad about it, but I'm not really sure what I was supposed to do. So I had something to do.

Rounds were boring and then there was lunch, eaten outside at this sub place. It was warm and I was full and a nap sounded SO good. But there were more games, and then our A-team was in the finals. Playing a team they had beaten twice and despite the fact that their record was better by three games than anyone else's. The preparation for that game took forever, so we just threw the mutant leopard sperm (I can't find a link, but it's sould by Ikea. Basically, it's a plush leopard-print ball with a little tufted tail) around and hit a lot of people who didn't seem particularly amused. Then our A-team played and then we went to a pretty goodPersian place for dinner.

We got a cab with a funny Russian guy who told the others to "Stay right there. I send someone." at least 10 times. He drove around and found his friend and sent him back. He also told us he owned the company and had five people working for him.

Got the redeye back to Chicago, getting in about 6 am. Came home and collapsed.

Good news? I hope so. I really thought this peace agreement would work, that the people of Belfast were sick of all the killing. But then none of the principals are willing to compromise, and the agreement seems close to falling apart. May the Lord in His mercy be kind to Belfast.

Well, I survived Los Angeles relatively unscathed (though I came home and took a 5-hour-long nap-- at that length is it even really a nap?) I'm glad I went, though we didn't get to play:-( Oh well. The A-team won, though. Go A-team! How cool would it be if Mr. T played college bowl?

We're supposed to have thundersnow tonight. At least, weatherbug has been beeping a winter storm watch at me all day. It's April-- when does winter end in this godforsaken city, anyway? Not that LA was that warm-- it was nice and sunny during the day, but really cold at night. Stupid desert.

I finished The Unconsoled but I'll write about it later. I think I'm too tired to be coherent. So I'm going to sleep at 10:30 pm. God, I'm old.

I don't want to sleep yet, and I've been spending the last few months trying to figure out what I actually want to do with my life (to the despair of my parents, I'm afraid), so I thought I would post about each option. This might be boring for you guys, but you don't have to read it. And I think it might help me figure some stuff out.

First up, grad school (in math):
Well, it's sort of the obvious choice for me. My advisor, my parents, most of my professors, etc. think that I am going. It's beginning to seem like the easy way out for me. And I'm not really sure I want it. I went to a meeting earlier this year about grad schools and such and something Paul Sally (for those of you who don't know him, Paul Sally is a math professor who wears an eyepatch, has a 'pegleg,' and likes to say 'Honors Analysis? That's kickass mathematics!' very often. For obvious reasons, many of us call him the pirate. No one has had the guts to get him a parrot for his shoulder yet, but it's sure to come) said really resonated with me. He said something along the lines of 'Don't bother to go to math grad school unless you're really really sure.' And I'm not. I'm not sure I have the talent, the drive, or the desire to do pure math.

Maybe I do. I enjoyed the research I did last summer, and I think I worked harder than I ever have in my life. Even though I knew next to nothing about the subject going in, I got a lot out of the project. But despite that, I don't really want to do a similar program this summer. I might even just want to go back to the movie theater or do some sort of program that isn't pure research. I want to be sort of relevant. Properties of covering spaces of the punctured torus, cool as they are, don't have any practical implications. When I finished that project, I wrote a paper that probably about 15 people in the world read and that is now in some Indiana Jones-esque basement at the NSF.

I don't think I want my life to be about producing papers that only 50 or 100 people in the world care about. I want to have some small impact on the world (yes, I know I'm young-- suck it), and I don't think pure math is the way to do this.

Now I understand that if I were working for any university researching math, I would also be teaching. Ah, there's my chance to have a big impact on young minds, right? That just ties into my other problem with going to grad school in math. I really hate classes. I don't think this is sort of a general 'classes are a necessary evil' type attitude. People who've taken classes with me can confirm that I can't sit still, rarely go to class, clock-watch like a mofo and am generally miserable the whole time I'm there. I used to think this would get better, classes would get more interesting as I got more advanced. But so far almost the opposite seems true. I mean, I spent 30 minutes yesterday trying to justify skipping the second day of topology (I didn't for those of you keeping score). Why would I want to put myself through an additional five years of this? And how can I teach something I can't sit through myself?

In a way, though, it would be so easy to go to grad school. I wouldn't have to get up early or look for a job next year. Maybe I could even continue here at Chicago, so I'd barely have to move. Maybe I'd even be happy. But it seems like quite a gamble for me to be risking my life (or some significant portion thereof) on.

Anyway, Sunday or Monday I'll talk about other careers I've considered. Including, but not limited to, zamboni driver, foreign service, grad school (engineering), aerospace tech, cryptanalysis, and professional spades player.

So I won't be around tomorrow or Saturday because I'll be in LA at NAQT Nationals (not because I deserve to be there, but because I wanted to go, really). It's going to be an exciting world of two almost 4.5 hour flights for a grand total of 36 hours in LA.

I plan on being absolutely exhausted and finishing up ACF editing on Sunday (our flight gets in at 6 am. Yes, you read that right). So maybe no updates till Monday.

Good news, though. Sort of. I found a great place to stay in London. 120 pounds per week, studio apartment, furnished, 5 minutes from the Tube and in zone 2, opens Sept. 1. The problem-- I can't do anything until I get my security clearance. I sent the forms today, but it will take 3-4 months, assuming there are no problems. Arrgh. This place will probably be long gone by then, but the website has a bunch of other places in a similar location for about 160-180 pounds/week. Which still isn't that bad.

I got all of the forms I have to fill out from the State Department today. Well, technically they came yesterday, sent FedEx Priority Overnight, but I didn't see the note in my mailbox until today. That was a valuable use of the taxpayers money.

Anyway, the packet included the questionaire for National Security positions. It requires you to list every place you've lived for any amount of time for the last seven years and someone who knew you there. So if any of you who actually know me get a call from the FBI about me, please be nice to them. And don't tell them about the time I dyed that reflecting pool in Pittsburgh with Kool-Aid or the story about stealing the wheelchair from WalMart. Please.

The form also requires that I list someone who knew me at every school I went to. Now for high school and the U of C that's no problem, but that class I took at Georgia State? The class I went to a total of four times? Uggh. I don't even remember the professor's name, so I have no clue who I'm going to list.

I also have to list every time I went out of the country for the last seven years, including to Canada and Mexico. So I guess that includes the time we went to Canada for an hour to buy Kindereier and the immigration official almost didn't let us back into the U.S. since we only had driver's licenses, no passports or birth certificates. That was kind of scary.

I made soup (a present from my mother) for dinner tonight. I have to start eating semiregularly again. I missed dinner last night and breakfast this morning, and in the middle of topology, I just wanted to throw up and had a splitting headache, either from lack of caffeine or lack of food. You pick.

I don't want to think about the war, so I'm retreating to the world of TV, random fun websites, and reading. I'm working on Ishiguro's The Unconsoled right now. I hadn't realised it would be so weird. I can't figure out why Ryder doesn't remember his past and why everything he remembers in England had been transported to central Europe. And if you know, please don't tell me. I'm really enjoying the book. I also have Kavalier and Clay and Grendel, courtesy of my mother's 25% educators discount at Barnes and Noble on Saturday. Thanks mom.